"So understand, you're wasting time always searching for those wasted years.
Face it. Make your stand, and realize you're living in the golden years"
I was talking to a very close friend about some problems I've been having. We were talking about family. It occurred to me that even though you might be related to someone, that doesn't make them family.
I've had a lot of stress lately, mostly because of "family" issues. To semi-explain the situation, I must start from the beginning. My "dad" is basically an idiot who only cares about himself and what's in his best interest, even though he says that's not the case. He and my mom never married, thank God, and he was in and out of my life for 15 years (first mistake). He would see me when it was convenient for him, and skipped out on child support so he could go out to bars or buy stuff for his latest girlfriend. He did this until I was 15 years old, and decided that he finally wanted to be a "daddy". So he takes my mom to court (second mistake). He does what he promised me he would never do, and changes my legal last name (third mistake). He then tries to act like everything's fine and dandy, and continues to disappoint and break every promise he ever made (fourth mistake).
A year and a half passes by, and my mother passed away. He actually does something right, and let's me live with my step-dad (who I consider my real dad) and my little brother. BUT, he stops paying child support, what little child support he paid any way (BIG MISTAKE). I was in the high school band all four years, and in those four years, he came to two competitions... that were in his home town (Is this #6?). This year, he went over 100 miles to his step-daughter's dance competition.
I was excited about graduating a little over a month ago. I just couldn't wait. It was going to be my night, and nothing wrong would mess that up, right? WRONG. Instead of being able to enjoy that pivotal moment in my life, he manages to ruin that too (I gave up counting at this point). We were told that if it rained on the night of graduation, we had ten tickets for seating in the gym that was first come first serve, no alternative. I had enough for him and his wife. I didn't have enough for his entire family. He basically tells me to find a way ( in other words, give every ticket I had to them and not invite my real family). I stressed... hard. It rained on graduation night, but they let everyone in, instead of getting tickets. All my problems were solved... or so I thought.
At my school, they don't trust enough, so they don't actually give you the diploma when you walk the line. They only give the diploma cover. So, the seniors have to march out to get the actual diplomas. He and his family want he to jump out of line marching out so I can talk to them, like it doesn't matter. Mind, it's either talk to them or get my diploma. So I march out with the seniors, and they act like I murdered somebody. They constantly tried to make me feel guilty for something that completely out of my control. This went on for about two weeks, and I finally had enough of it. I haven't talked to them in close to three weeks, and I've felt great until today.
Today is Father's Day, and as I feared, they started to try to make me feel guilty again. I've had enough. They cling on to the idea that "we're family and nothing should change that", but that is FAR from the case. Just because you're related does not mean you're family. Families are supposed to love and care about each other and each other's best interests, not be selfish and think only of what's best for themselves. I have friends that are truly closer than blood relatives, and truly love me and care about me. Not only do I have friends like that, I also have a step-dad that does anything he can for me and loves me like I'm his own. He has done more in the past year and a half than my "father" has done in my entire life, and he's been there since I was seven years old. I thank God for him, and my real family every day. I wouldn't trade them for anything.
