Still Beats Your Name...

"Let this burden drift away

My pledge remains faithful to you

and my heart still beats your name"

You know, we all have regrets in life, whether we want to admit it or not. I've been kinda down about a few things recently, and it's all about what I regret. Just like everyone else, I regret things I've done in the past, and I also regret things that I didn't do when I had the opportunity. I found myself in one of those meditative states, looking at my past and realizing what I should have done. 

I thought about how I treated my mom before she passed away. I wasn't mean to her, but I could have treated her far better. One Friday, we got into an argument right before I had to leave to go to my dad's for the weekend. Of course, before I left, I told her I was sorry and told her I loved her, then I left. We talked that Saturday morning like nothing happened the day before, but only for a minute. That night, she sent me a text message telling me that she loved me, and she couldn't wait to see me the next day. Unfortunately, I didn't text back, because I was watching a movie. No big deal, right? Wrong. My mother passed away that Sunday at about 2 a.m. I never got to say good bye. That is my single biggest regret. I will never forgive myself for the rest of my life for that.

The past few weeks have really been a revelation for me. As graduation gets closer every day, I became more and more aware of things I should have done a long time ago. I'm trying to take advantage of the time I have left, but I can't help but feel like I'm too late. My love life is less than stellar, by far. I honestly don't regret but a few ex-girlfriends, but I do regret people that I should have taken the risk with. I've really kicked myself in the butt for it, even though I know that won't help anything. I really wish I would've acted sooner ( or acted at all) with some. The worst feeling about it is that I'm just now realizing it at the end of my senior year. 

But I guess that's life. Everyone has regrets. It's just a burden we must bare.